night drives

you can’t sleep again so we take your dad’s car for a joyride again

it’s bloody midnight I say, why the hell are we doing this?

it’ll be just ‘round the block you say, as you turn on the ignition

he won’t even notice

in the tungsten light of the streetlights, I look into your eyes and I won’t lie, I’m a little terrified of what comes next

we shouldn’t be doing this, a smarter me would have said, but let’s not bullshit each other shall we; broken attracts broken, and frankly my dear, we would have given shakespeare a run for his money

you can have your antony and cleopatra, but my juliet wears leather jackets, and she listens to the artic monkeys and mayday

she’s counter-culture who grew up too early, and went rogue, a kid who shouldn’t have to do the things she’s done

this is our tragedy, and we are writing it to the tune of the 987FM, and our narrators are the muttons at midnight

maybe if we die tonight, they’ll do a special segment, and they’ll play that terrible james blunt song we loved

“in honour of the two idiots who became sardines in a honda civic!”

yeah, that’s the obituary we would have gotten a kick out of, the perfect send-off to that terrible love song you used to keep on repeat

oh, you are beautiful alright, beautiful and so goddam dangerous

you should have a warning label like cigarette boxes, even nightshades have the courtesy to tell you to stay away

but let’s be real when you looked in your rear-view mirror, did you see yourself in me too?

because I did, and I’m not sure who frightened me more

we are going at eighty on the freeway, just cruising down the highway

devil at the wheels, devil inside asking for control, but control is what you want, and what you gave up a long time ago

this is everything there is now, and no stop sign is going to stop this ride

live in the moment, take another drink from the bottle, cut loose; feel the wind in your hair, scream and shout out the window

don’t you just want to feel alive for a while?

this whole place is a joke, an absurdity, and clearly we are the only ones to see that

the big G up there is a kid who’s bored of his ant-farm, so he chucked us in the bin; if we’re made in his image, then why do we tend towards violence?

because that’s just being human, I say

bullshit, it’s because there’s a little darkness in us all, and we’re just the ones who are managing it, on a leash, and restrained

meanwhile the corporate types squeeze the poor, while shadowy figures make money off bombs in the middle east, and everyone else tries to get by with the scraps

somewhere, there’s a child who screams for his mother, but the mother has no more milk to give, and their corpses are priced with dollar signs

there’s a tear in your eye, and you grip the wheel even tighter, you want to save everyone, and it’s killing you that you can’t do that

but I’m not you, I’m not that ambitous, I’m more selfish

I’m just trying to save one person

she’s racing past the red lights, with aggression that runs side by side with her benevolence, kindness poisoned by cynicism, a rose burning in the wildfires of july

and now she’s crying, because it tears her apart, it breaks her heart that she can’t do more

but she doesn’t know, she saved one life already, and that life is still trying to pay back the favour

a lifetime debt to you, but your debt seems to be to everyone else.

we stop at the gas station, and you turn to me and ask

“what if I can’t do this anymore? I’m scared.”

I want to hug you, and I want to tell you that everything will be alright, but I don’t know the words anymore.

I don’t know how to lie anymore, not to you at least.

you want to buy more alcohol from the cheers, but I stop you for the first time ever, and the tears sting like acid on my shoulder

I’ll take us home now alright? I think you nodded, but I’m not waiting for a reply, not this time

there’s enough grief to go around, and you have carried too much for too long; I grip the wheel this time, and you close your eyes as you lean against the passenger seat

the road home is dark, and adrift for people like us, but a lonely road need not be walked alone, it’s a terrifying prospect

but you told me once, in happier times, courage is staring at void and saying to hell with everything

there’s a life worth living, even if just one person who breathed easier because you lived